21 days and counting

21 days have come and gone and only a few moments within have been still. Ever since I stepped onto the flybus in Reykjavik life has been more go, wait, inconvenience, go, go, wait, try to sleep, party, celebrate, wait, inconvenience. You get the picture.

My supposed 12 hour trip home turned into a 28 hour trip with a sleepover in the Boston airport. Still to this day I am upset at the airline because they lied. No one was at the transfer desk for me, thus making me miss my connecting flight. Oh well. It's now a grand story that will some day make me laugh I'm sure.

Christmas would have been a happier time if I hadn't been so jet lagged or if I would have had time to journal before I saw so many people. My brain was too full of thoughts and memories to make any sense when speaking.

Then without even presenting itself, I was on my way to the airport again, this time to KCMO for my roommate from last year's wedding. Okay, so I knew since July 2009 that I would be in KCMO in January, but under my tired-full-confused-mind it felt out of no where. 6 days of wedding craze, cookies, target, families, food,I do's, and more airport time. Needless to say, I spent all last Tuesday doing nothing. My mind and body needed to be still.

I moved into my dorm yesterday afternoon and have been fully enjoying the first real moments of peace and quiet. All returning students move in this afternoon and in a few short hours my solitude will come to an end. But I have decided that is fine, because the longer I sit by myself looking out my dorm room window the more I miss Iceland. Everything was prettier there. Where is the breath taking sky and mountains? I want them back. It's hard to go on Facebook and see friends uploading more Iceland pictures they have taken since I left. Their adventure continues. Mine seems to have come to a close, and what has opened is the scary prospect of graduating college in little over a year and starting "real" life. Living in another country was easy compared to the unknown future. Oh goodness, my dramatic side is taking over again.

There have been wonderful moments these past 21 days as well. I hope you didn't think that have been dragging my feet since I've been home. No no no. I got to hug my mom many times. I heard Bethany's laugh and laughed along. I learned a new card game (killer bunnies). I finally got to meet Sara's family and watch from the bridal party a beautiful start of a new chapter in the Hey's life. I've seen two beautiful sunrises. I took my dog on a walk. I ate too much bdubs. I had starbucks. I visited Hangtime! I watched Hannah Montana. And right now I'm in the best dorm room at NPU that over looks the the snow covered green space. And just for kicks I spent 36ish hours in airports in two weeks (it's a positive because I can now write many stories about them).

Classes start tomorrow and they will kick my butt and I'm sure it will take me awhile to remember how to study normal amounts during the week. Life in Chicago already feels like home. It's nice. I welcome all adventures that are to come.

Bless friends.

so tell me, what is our ending?

This last week feels an awful like the first week except with a few differences. 1) I have friends 2) I know the city 3) there´s less day light. Some similarities have been: boring paper work, random things on a to-do-list, lots of spare time, and no computer. Instead of unpacking and organizing, I have started to organize and pack. The worst part is this week there are no hello nice to meet yous, but goodbyes for maybe forever.

As depressing as that sounds my week hasn´t been that sad. In fact, it has been fun and full of random and planned events.

Last Saturday my friend Maxine made Chines dumplings for me because I am leaving. She is so sweet. We were making dumplings all afternoon, I hadn´t eaten that much since Thanksgiving! The next day I had went over to my buddy´s house for an Icelandic meal. It was a very diverse weekend of my taste buds.

The most touristy thing I have done was go to the Blue Lagoon with Birgir, Charlize, Rabekka, and Maxine. The Blue Lagoon is the big deal of Iceland, a Disneyland type of big deal. Expect it is not long lines and rides, but a large relaxing outside naturally hot pool. It was great to get out of the city and just relax for an afternoon.

The craziest thing I have done was go to the beach with Gerick and Zak to swim in it. Yes, I have now been swimming in the North Atlantic. It was more of a jump in, scream, take a few pictures, and run into the hotpot that was also in the ocean. But I was in the North Atlantic in my swimsuit, and that´s all that counts. :)

Sunday is coming too soon, and I just realized today that I only have the morning in Reykjavik. The rest of my day will be getting to the airport, waiting around in airports, and flying. I´m not looking forward to that at all. Just like in coming here, I haven´t thought much about going home and what it means. I can foresee culture shock, not a lot. But it will happen. I was in another country for a semester, its bound to happen. As are changes in myself and all the changes that have happened back home and at school. Everything will be different and everything will be oddly the same. But at the same time, I am looking forward to the new adventures back home. I have never taken advantage of the beauty and exciting things in the cities that I live in. That will be changing.

Well friends, this will for sure be my last post before I am home. I don´t want to waste any moments on the computer today, tomorrow, and Sunday morning. But thanks for reading. Bless.

feel free to say "told you so"

I have a little story for you my blog readers.

Friday afternoon was my last final and just like the first two this one was about a 10 to 15 minute walk away. I have kept a very anti-bus philosophy while living in Reykjavik because this city is so small, why waste money when you have legs that can walk? I woke up to the wind screaming at the rain and the storm continued all day. At dressed for the worst and forced my way through the wind and the sleeting rain. At some points the wind would blow so hard I could barely move an inch forward. I had to walk across this bridge that crosses one of the only busy roads and a huge gust of wind came and I literally blew to the other side of the bridge. I almost started to worry that I wouldn't make it to my test at all because the weather was so bad. I did make it on time, just soaking wet and I smelt like a dog. It was not fun taking a three hour final wet, but I survived and came back to my dorm.(Oh the things I do to pass my classes, ha). I put on sweats, drank tea, and ate my mini spooners (an attempt at the real min wheats?) the rest of the night. Of course at night the storm stopped and it was beautiful out. Such is the weather in Iceland.

I refused to step foot outside the next day because it was still raining. But Sunday morning was beautiful and warm out. I went to church with some friends to watch another friend sing in a choir, and then we went to the flea market and out to coffee. For dinner I went over to my Icelandic Buddy's house for some lamb. It was amazing! Today I've been doing random things that needed to get done and ran home from down town. It was wonderful. I have made a fun-to-do-list for my last week in Iceland and it is really shaping up into an awesome week, at least on paper. :]

I leave the 20th, and hopefully I'll be able to blog again, but if not its been great sharing my life with you. Bless friends.

I saw santa, I saw santa!

the title gives away my big news but today santa stopped his car so I could cross the street. It is common in Iceland for drivers to slow down or stop for you if you look like you are going to cross the street. This afternoon, no joke, an elderly man with a fluffy white beard wearing a red hat and coat, stopped for me to cross the street. Thanks santa, you made my day.

No other land than the present

There have been uneventful events these past few weeks, and I must apologize for not updating my blog before now (especially after my last joyful ending). I have been computer less for too long now and will remain to be until I return to the States. It´s frustrating, but I can also count it as a blessing because I have been using my time for studying. But I am continually becoming more upset at the lack of communication I can have with my family. Oh these learning experiences are never easy... But I am learning the meaning of honesty and that when people from home ask me how I am doing - they really care and want to know.

It has officially been finals "month" since the 30th of November and I have only had two finals since then. They give you far too much time during finals if you ask me, but seeing as my whole grade rests on these tests, I should be thankful for the extra time. The two finals I had were easy and almost enjoyable. Studying for them is another thing altogether. No one has had to study much this semester and everyone´s brain is fried already from using it too much. I have been suffering from a bad case of procrastination this week because I don´t have another final until Friday. This one will also be easy if I put in the time. Good thing I have this afternoon and all day tomorrow to work on it.

I planned a little festive Christmas event last Sunday for everyone in my dorm. We got together and baked cookies from 2pm until 6:30pm (and then started up again at 8:30pm). It was fun because people baked cookies that they eat in their own country and I had a blast watching at least 5 people decorate their first sugar cookie! The only "bad" thing is that I have 200 plus cookies in my freezer that I keep giving people because I don´t want them anymore. (I now have to worry about fitting into my brides maid dress I got over the summer - yikes, should have thought about that before Thanksgiving and Christmas cookies). ha. That beautiful picture is what we ate just the first night.

I finished my first scarf this week also! I am very proud that I finally finished one after years of trying and giving up. Iceland is just a magical place to knit I guess. My little brother is no longer "little" anymore, and he got the package I sent for his birthday. :) I can´t wait to see the Icelandic "football" warm up on him.

My biggest joy is the fact that my wonderful friend Bethany is home from Africa!!! I´m talking to her right now. She is so awesome. Between her homecoming, my lack of a computer, and my family having a difficult time now, home is looking better and better. I still wonder if I´d feel homesick if those last two never happened. But there is no point in living in the land of "if only" or "I wonder". I´´ll be home in 11 days and I´m going to enjoy my last 11 days in Iceland to the fullest. Bless friends.

Giving Thanks and other thoughts

Post-Thanksgiving by a full day, going on two, and I am still exhausted and somehow full. I never knew that Thanksgiving was so much work. I´ll give you a day by day account of our preparations.
Nov 9th: Our first meeting to talk about who we wanted to invite, when to have it, and what we wanted to make. Not much got done besides picking the day and a facebook event was made to see how many people were going to come.
Nov 23rd: we had our second official meeting to talk about food and what to buy. We decided to hold the dinner on the fourth floor tv room, for a more homely feel.
Nov 24th: I went shopping for food with Derek, Laura, Jills, and Birgir. We spent over an hour in Bonous and then another forty in Hagkaup. It was a successful trip besides the lack of pumpkin and rhubarb. Birgir´s trunk was so full I thought his car wouldn´t be able to move. I was disappointed that we couldn´t find pumpkin anywhere and when my friend Rebekka asked if we found everything I told her we couldn´t find pumpkin and luckily she had a half a pumpkin and she knew of a place close by that sells them! That put me in a good mood.
Nov 25th: After class I walked to this little organic foods place and got the last three baby pumpkins! I asked if they were going to get more tomorrow and he said that he ordered too many this time - so praise Jesus he did, or else our dinner may have been pumpkin-free. After my other class we started to bake. I prepared the pumpkin for pies and my pumpkin rolls. (Pumpkin is hard when you have to make it from scratch). Every kitchen was full of Americans cooking. It was great.
Nov 26th: The big day! Derek and I put the turkeys in around 11:30am and I started to cook stuffing after that. (after lunch five of us turned in our Icelandic Culture papers - yay for being done with one class already). Around 3pm every kitchen was in use until after midnight. Everyone really got into the Thanksgiving spirit. I could feel it all around me. I don´t even know how many dishes we made. Three tables full and enough to feed 48ish people plus leftovers still. People started to show up around 7 for dinner, but we weren´t ready. All I saw for a good hour was a whirlwind of food and chiefs finishing up their masterpieces. I don´t know how many times I ran up and down stairs, but it was totally worth every ounce of effort put in. The dinner was a success. I have never been so satisfied and content after completing a task before. Sitting with a view of each table and our quests eating the traditional American Thanksgiving meal we had worked SO HARD to prepare and a plate full of my own food, was a reward worth a million dollars. I couldn´t stop smiling, we had pulled it off. (if you know me at all you know how bad I am at planning parties - yes, this was a big accomplishment for me. ha). Everyone I talked to enjoyed the food and now want to celebrate Thanksgiving every year. I didn´t get to bed till after 1 am with all of the cleaning that had to be done, but I slept well. I will cherish this day for the rest of my life.
Nov 27th: I woke up full and to it snowing outside! What a great way to end Thanksgiving by bringing in the Christmas season :) All that was left was a little cleaning and moving the tables and chairs back to second floor. That morning/afternoon I spent outside with friends playing in the snow and on the ice. I made my first snow angel on the ice, it felt appropriate since I´m in Iceland. For dinner the cooks all got together to eat some leftovers. I know there is still food left. Can you say 100% true Thanksgiving? ha.

Amidst the Thanksgiving rush my life was slowly crumbling around me. I´m not a fan of bad news (giving or receiving) and when it comes out of no where it is so easy to close up. I guess you could say I am thankful that Thanksgiving was during this week so I´ve been able to distract myself from thinking about life. But today I will allow myself to slow down and examine life. At the moment I have more questions then answers. Like will it now be a tradition for my Thanksgiving week to be full of worry and confusion? Because two years in a row is enough for my pessimistic personality to place these events in connection with each other. There are just too many similarities for my mind to not come to that conclusion. Why, why, why? Why do my life lessons come through suffering? Can´t I learn the easy way for once? The ironic thing is I have been praying for my life to be changed here, to be broken, to experience God in a new way. Watch out for what you pray for. For over a month I have been going to a bible study at the Garman´s house and we have been going through 1 Peter. A perfect book about the suffering that happens in the world because we live in sin-filled world. Suffering is going to come no matter what, what really matters is where we place our faith, our trust, our hope. Nothing happens without a reason. I met the Garman´s because God knew I´d need to hear the truth of 1 Peter before and after last Tuesday. I have friends here that care and listen because God knew I´d need human comfort in Iceland. I may be back to where I was one year ago with different circumstances. But its a place where I have to fully rely on God with each breath I take, I wouldn´t be able to get out of bed without his strength. That´s a place of beauty, it really is. Beautifully broken.

Now I have a request of you friends. Please pray for my family (and me while you are at it). This is a crack in the road, a gap in the bridge, or the building blocks of a beautiful castle. I´m willing to share the details, I just don´t feel the need to vent details to the blog world. I always welcome ears to hear and a hug (even if its via the Internet). Bless friends.

feelings

Shock
Numb
This isn´t happening.
No
Can´t be.
Not now.
We were done with hardships.

I lied.
I don´t want to shine.
take it back.

This cycle
needs to end.
one time was enough.
the past
is pulled back
too much to focus on.

I lied
I don´t want to shine
take it back.

Take it back
take it back
for another time.