There is something about rain that puts me in a blogging mood. Rain also beckons me to make chia tea, listen to Icelandic tunes, and wear an oversized tshirt, leggings, and Icelandic socks. I'm even tempted to stop writing and pick up my knitting needles! When I close my eyes and quiet my mind I can hear soft sounds of rain and the breathless chatter of Icelandic. I can even see the unique wall art hanging in one of the coffee shops. With my eyes open I come back to the reality of my newly decorated room and my scared dog curled up on my bed, (Sadly, Moose does not share my love of rain).
I've been reflecting about my summer before I left for Iceland recently because I am in a similar situation yet again - waiting to hear if I'll be in another country soon. I'm finding that this round of waiting is even more frustrating then the first because I have the past to compare with the present. I've even started to worry that I'm not worrying enough about not knowing! (Silly, I know). I have noticed though, that the more I pray, the more at peace I feel. But the more I wonder what people think about me not knowing or having a plan causes me to worry even more. What are they thinking? Do they think I'm wasting my time? Do they see that I have no control in this situation? Do they think my faith is pointless?
Since I am waiting with, in, and on God's perfect timing, it is important for me to be honest with myself and with others. Waiting is a draining stage to be in but one I know I grow in. Some days I'm singing and some days I want to panic. Some days I think I'm crazy for wanting to leave the country and other days I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is what I'm suppose to do. Some days I pray for those I hope to touch in South Korea and other days I pray about the people I interact with now. Some days I experience all of those emotions and more.
Would Iceland have tasted so sweet if I didn't have to wait the majority of the summer to hear I could go? Would I have seen each day as a blessing while abroad? I'm not sure. But I am sure that I wouldn't trade a single day before or during for another. I believe I will be able to say the same thing for these present days.
