Round Two

There is something about rain that puts me in a blogging mood. Rain also beckons me to make chia tea, listen to Icelandic tunes, and wear an oversized tshirt, leggings, and Icelandic socks. I'm even tempted to stop writing and pick up my knitting needles! When I close my eyes and quiet my mind I can hear soft sounds of rain and the breathless chatter of Icelandic. I can even see the unique wall art hanging in one of the coffee shops. With my eyes open I come back to the reality of my newly decorated room and my scared dog curled up on my bed, (Sadly, Moose does not share my love of rain).
I've been reflecting about my summer before I left for Iceland recently because I am in a similar situation yet again - waiting to hear if I'll be in another country soon. I'm finding that this round of waiting is even more frustrating then the first because I have the past to compare with the present. I've even started to worry that I'm not worrying enough about not knowing! (Silly, I know). I have noticed though, that the more I pray, the more at peace I feel. But the more I wonder what people think about me not knowing or having a plan causes me to worry even more. What are they thinking? Do they think I'm wasting my time? Do they see that I have no control in this situation? Do they think my faith is pointless?
Since I am waiting with, in, and on God's perfect timing, it is important for me to be honest with myself and with others. Waiting is a draining stage to be in but one I know I grow in. Some days I'm singing and some days I want to panic. Some days I think I'm crazy for wanting to leave the country and other days I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is what I'm suppose to do. Some days I pray for those I hope to touch in South Korea and other days I pray about the people I interact with now. Some days I experience all of those emotions and more.
Would Iceland have tasted so sweet if I didn't have to wait the majority of the summer to hear I could go? Would I have seen each day as a blessing while abroad? I'm not sure. But I am sure that I wouldn't trade a single day before or during for another. I believe I will be able to say the same thing for these present days.

Galatians

"The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outburst of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that ane living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit's leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another. Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct. Those who are taught the word of God should provide for their teachers, sharing all good things with them. Don't be misled - you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone - especially to those in the family of faith" Galatians 5:17-6:10 NLT

Life is not just about community living and holding the community together. There is also the factor of the individual. I have not been focusing on myself. I have been spending all of my time with people and have been forgetting about my own special time to be with God. I have been blessed with my own bedroom with a door here at school and I have not been using it as a sanctuary. But here I am. Alone. Trying to ignore the outside distractions, and focus of me. It's a foreign concept, but one I hope to grow accustom to again.

a box of tissues lighter

I can sum up my last 7 days into one word: sick. There are many reasons why I hate being sick. I can't breath well, I can't speak english (at least any word starting with a b, m, n), I can't think, I don't feel like myself, I drip from the nose, I need more sleep (which means less homework time), I can't follow a conversation, and many more.

My community has been nothing but understanding during this past week. Buying orange juice, watching movies with me, and even yelling at me to stop washing the dishes and to sit down.

But in all honesty I'm ready to be normal again! I'm praying that by going to bed at 10pm this week will fix everything (with the help of more orange juice) :]

Bless

The Third Week of Senior Life

What a wonderful morning. I have spent close to the last hour sitting in my bed drinking chi tea, listening to Icelandic music and the thunderstorm outside, while writing. This is my kind of ideal morning indeed.

I'd like to share with my readers the one thing I understand (so far) from my Philosophy class. It has to do with community living and freedom. (I do believe that the reason why I understand this only concept is because I can apply it to life). Freedom is not doing whatever I want and or being rational. No, freedom is when what I want and what the group that I live with/around want match up. That concept may seem simple or obvious but ever since that class the wheels in my brain have been turning. I will be conscious of watching when the wants in my community change and if the freedom of being who I am or what I want become harder to obtain. It's like a fun little social experiment. :]

Speaking of social experiments, last Thursday was the launch of a brand new branch of University Ministries called Tribes. This past week has been full of preparations for the big night. We (my house - official and unofficial - plus other amazing people) have been "clipping" campus with clothes pins advertising Tribes, buying ridiculous things from the thrift store (like a red donkey we named Sally), and spray painting signs. I'd like to pause so I can say I LOVE DOING CRAZY THINGS FOR GOD. Our goal is that everyone on campus knows that something new is going on, and this is just the beginning! There was a good turn out of students from all ages (although we would have liked to have some more seniors) and from what I heard people liked being split up into random groups and the night in general. What I love about being a part of something brand new is that the sky is the limit. There is no expectations of the students about what Tribes should be because Tribes has never happened before. I am excited to see where God takes Tribes. (Just a shameless plug - you can still come out to Tribes if you missed the first week. Everyone is welcome to come and go as they please).

The fact that I am a senior is slowly hitting me in the face ever since yesterdays meeting for the seniors. Please pray for guidance and that I listen to God's voice.

Bless friends.

why I'm awake past midnight

I just spent the last hour or so talking and praying with my roommates. This is one of the many reasons why I love community living.

and the story continues.

It's hard to believe that I started this blog a little over a year ago. I have gone back and forth between picking up the old blog or not again. I have decided to continue writing. My silence was because I felt my life back in the States wasn't "blog worthy" but life is a continuous adventure - no matter what country I'm in.
I know that this year is going to be one of many changes and one of joy. It is (crazy enough) my senior year of college and now more then ever I am becoming more present with life at North Park. I am living in a house with three other girls and already the adventures are rolling. Living in community is our main focus. I'm planning on exploring what that looks like with each new day.
I may not know where I'll be in the next year or what "dream" I'm chasing now, but I'm loving life right now this very minute. And that is a good place to be.

Bless

this is life. right now. this very second

Wow, a spare minute. Well, that is a bit over dramatic. I’ve had a few, but this is the first one that I’ve taken to blog, or even think about blogging. Some days are full of writing (between my dramatic writing, creative non-fiction, and many journal entries) I can easily become tired of words. We all can thank college life for that.

Every day is oddly similar (like it also became in Iceland). I wake up from a not wonderful nights rest (due to it being too cold, hot, light, uncomfortable, you name it) and decide to not work out because I’m too tired. Not a great way to start out any day. Then there is classes, which are interesting. I never noticed how fast and much professors talk, but coming back from lectures that were slow and brainless, I feel out of shape trying to follow the complex aerobics my professors expect their students to perform in class. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not falling behind, its just different to what was normal. Now all over again I must adjust to this new concept that will soon become normal.

I got a job, which is a blessing and I found out I only need to take a half a semester art class, not two halves. Now I’ll have more time to focus on my writing after spring break. I am ECSTATIC about that because it’ll be one of the first times that I’ll be able to dedicate full days for writing.

Real life continues to hit me at random moments. Little and big changes to stable things that once were not and now are. I’m not sure how I feel about them, but they’ve happened, they’ve been said, and now its my turn to react. It’s not like changes didn’t happen while I was away, I was just oblivious to them for whatever reasons.

I haven’t had much of a chance to explore Chicago like I had planned. I never let nasty weather stop me in Iceland so honestly I do not have a good excuse for my shut-in days. Hopefully that will change now that I’ve got a slight idea of how busy my week and weekends will be. But I have been able to get to Molly’s cupcakes twice :]

I’ll fill you in on dorm life. I live with two sweet ladies who I knew beforehand. We had decided to be roommies long before I even knew I’d be in Iceland (it was yet a dream). I had jokingly told one of my roommates to save all of her mini wheats boxes and put them on our wall. Well, she took it to a whole different level and tapped cereal boxes on my closet doors and the wall by my desk. I don’t even want to count them, but trust me, there are a lot!  She is a nut and I love her for that. It’s been great to spend time with my friends again, but some days I miss sitting around the kitchen table eating random food that people threw together that reminded them of home. I miss talking about different cultural experiences and traditions. I miss knitting and drinking Icelandic coffee. I miss being able to walk basically anywhere in the city in 10 or 15 minutes. To help me feel like a little bit of Iceland is with me I bought nutella. I know it isn’t Icelandic, but it will always be a reminder of my time there. I ate it a lot. ha.

bless.